Infidelity is a funny old thing. Pretty easy to understand on a basic level. You get married, you shag your PA, you’re being unfaithful.
However, in 2016, things are a bit more complex. Long gone are the glory days of getting a quick blow job in the broom cupboard and being done with it. Since the dawn of social media, texting, face timing and visual communication, there are a lot more ways to get your rocks off than simple shagging.
That’s not to say that a good old shag doesn’t beat the virtual banter, but that, now, the sexual build up starts well before your clothes are on the bedroom floor.
And so introduces my LOL of the day.
Men who think they’re not being unfaithful when they sex text a stranger.
Now, let’s be clear, I don’t judge a person for their wandering eye. God knows, I’ve had my fair share of interactions in the past with people who I, strictly speaking, shouldn’t have. I think infidelity is a basic fact of human nature – always been around and ain’t looking to go away any time soon.
No, my confusion has more to do with men who think that unless they insert their penis into your vagina they are not cheating.
I get it’s easy to fall into a bit of racy conversation after you’ve accidentally fallen on your phone, entered your Facebook account details, uploaded a picture and signed up for Tinder but, for anyone reassuring themselves that they’re not cheating because there is no physical interaction, a few ways to help you deal with your confusion.
Have you accidentally signed up to Tinder recently?
Have you stimulated your penis to a picture of the person you are ‘not being unfaithful with’ who you accidentally meet on Tinder recently?
Is your phone locked?
Does the idea of your phone not being locked make your bloody run cold and send the fear of God through your tortured soul?
If the answer is yes to some or all of the above …