Men, It’s Time to Get the Razors Out.

katyCunts, fools., hair, men, wankers5 Comments



I doubt I am the only person who is relieved that January is nearly over – being a month when resolutions, alterations and abstinence seem appropriate. Women aren’t the only ones vowing to shift the pounds and hit the gym either. Men too, consider January an ideal time to make changes to their life.

Worry not, a few more days and we can all get back on the booze and stop kidding ourselves.

There are lifetime changes which are hard to break, and whilst I recognise that wanting them is a step in the right direction – planning to attend a spinning class 4 times a week and master mindful meditation by the end of the month aren’t things that you are likely to commit too. In order to be successful when considering new years resolutions, I would suggest that there are easier, more immediate goals men can set themselves in order to start the year with a sense of achievement and well being.



Ending the stale relationship you have been in for too long for example, or asking your boss for that long overdue pay rise, or to really bring yourself into 2015 with a bang – getting rid of that forest on your chin.

Ah, the hipster beard – facial hair so painfully on-trend it makes a pair of jeans look original.

You see, here’s the thing, I love a bit of facial hair on a man and nothing says hunk o’ burning love to me like a 5 o’clock shadow, however, when facial hair becomes a ‘trend’, whenever every post-pubescent boy in East London, is breaking his tiny hipster balls to look like Father Christmas, it takes the edge off somewhat, does it not?

Pre 2014 men with beards were original, trend-setting and had an air of intellectual je ne se qoiu about their person. Now, with the unprecedented explosion of facial grooming last year, any kind of facial hair (and that includes ‘ironic’ moustaches, ‘retro’ side-burns and over-considered facial topiary) simple says that the owner is desperate to be part of a tribe, a scene – big bush on your chin is like the golden passport to hipster heaven – want to be in our gang? we want hair, and lots of it.



If you every feel compelled to recreate to sensation of living in North Korea, save yourself the travel expense and spend the evening in a bar in Hoxton – a little more booze undoubtably but the same formulaic copy and paste ‘uniform’ of style (Oh, how we laughed)

Sadly, like many once great things, the beard has been boycotted by the hipsters – over-worn, over-groomed and, as a consequence, is now painfully over-rated.

You want to be fresh, sexy and original in 2015? Get the razor out and clean yourself up.

Don’t worry, you still have your skinny jeans, flat caps, jam jars, cereal cafes, vintage shirts, real ale and Bikram yoga – unique, cool and edgy even without the whiskers.

katyMen, It’s Time to Get the Razors Out.

5 Comments on “Men, It’s Time to Get the Razors Out.”

  1. Macca

    Cut throats I hope. (Gotta work on anger issues) I started by being bemused by the beardy bunch, but as the virus has spread I’m thinking why? Just why? Last time I bearded up was 20 years ago and when my partner at the time said scratchy and weird, I took the hint. Have women’s tastes changed? Appreciate any advice! Oh – and if we’re on an anti beard gig, can we do skinny jeans as well?

  2. Ritzi

    DEAR LORD YES. Just get rid, immediately.

    And totally agree with the above RE skinny jeans I have to say – NO MAN LOOKS GOOD IN SKINNY JEANS PAST THE AGE OF 30. Before that, it’s questionable, and only if you’re the type who can also get away with wearing some kind of heel. Cowboy boots and the like.

    Here endeth the rant.


  3. Macca

    Thank god I’m not alone! Well past it age wise anyway but I just find it super annoying. Should get over it but just can’t. Rant on…

    #not jealous.

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