I’m not Cheryl Coles biggest fan, far from it in fact. I think she’s a pretty-ish lass whose luck is far bigger than her voice will ever be. For some unknown reason and despite an episode of racially aggravated assault she was plucked from total Gordie obscurity, told to drop the weight, teeth and tracksuit and spend the following 4 years playing Cowells side- kick to perfection and mastering the art of looking tearful/understanding/ just like you once used to be to perfection.
Ashley Cole is a pig, a subject I need not expand on, and on paper she’s ridiculous for marrying the man in the first place let alone going back to a serial cheater. BUT, and this is coming from a girl who’d end a relationship over a bad pair of shoes, let alone an affair, I can’t help but notice the girl is looking happier and healthier than she has done in years. Since sticking her fingers up at the X factor and taking a week or so off to eat Ben and Jerry’s (noticed those ankles anyone) and neck a good few glasses of grey goose for her birthday Cheryl has found her spark again. She is following her heart not her (aka Cowell’s) head and looks so much better for it.
There is no doubt that going back to a bad relationship is a sketchy move and it will probably take her about 4 months to find her feet back in wag land, and perhaps if she’s lucky, land her self a column in a women’s weekly, but if she’s happier than what the hell. Surely you’d have to be a partially sited, 96 year old living on the isle of Skye to not realize her ‘relationship’ with the Derek Houghton was a total set up, I don’t think her heart ever really left Ashley, and no doubt her people pushed the divorce just as her stylists pushed ‘that’ outfit at the opening auditions of US X Factor. Both were disastrous and left her empty.
Her ‘people’, the media and the British public thought they knew what was best Cheryl Cole, but we were all proved wrong. Keeping her on the soul sapping fame machine and away from a man (all be it a rather silly one) that she loved didn’t make her stronger it turned her into a teary-eyed child with the body of a seven year old. Now the nations sweetheart (god love the British Media) is doing what she wants to do, bulking out, getting pissed and watching TOWIE in a Paul’s Boutique tracksuit with her cheating boyfriend and looks a damn site more spritely for it.
If I’m being totally honest and ever so British a little bit of me, is quite enjoying seeing the Gordie goddess of Saturday night TV brought down a peg or two. But there is also a bit of me that feels sorry for a girl who, despite her dodgy past full of toilet attendants and cheating husbands, has invested belief and trust in fat cats around her, shaping her life both publicly and privately to do what she was told people wanted from her, only to be dumped quicker than you can say calls will be charged at local rates and may be significantly higher from mobiles.
So if I was to bump into our Chezza at the cold meats section of the Waitrose in Surrey, I’d say kick back, shag your cheating ex, drink too much in Chinawhites, eat some chips, take a holiday and be human again. Wrong advice definitely, big mistakes maybe and a few rotten hangovers unquestionably, but it will be HER hangover and her mistakes, she can hold her head up high with an alkezeltzer and a bloody Mary on a Sunday morning and say I did that, those where my choices not the medias, the nations or a man wearing high waisted trousers. And only then can will she really be able to toss that glossy mane and say now I really am worth it.