People find it hard to believe I like older, nay OLD men. I was probably the only girl to online date and age lie upwards, try to date and man in their 60’s when you are 33 and people presume, quite understandably, that there is a motive behind your preference, namely cash (although admittedly, fresh out of school or near pushing up the daisies a few quid in the bank is always a bonus) I simply prefer the wisdom, manners, conversation and yes, saggy bum sex and all of the older man.
I think that both men and women improve with age, Liz Hurley 46 for example with her never ending legs and glossy mane looks infinitely better than she did circa Versace safety pin dress, Halle Berry, 44 and those bloody cheekbones , even fat but gorgeous Kirstie Alley at, wait for it 60, looks as hot as fondue cheese right now, I’ll have some of her cake please. So too men, in my opinion, just get juicer and more delicious as the years go by, it comes as no surprise that Take That tickets sold out within minutes, and women who should know better having left husbands in doors with the kids, were photographed, brawling, puking and crying outside gig venues in mass hysteria over the golden 5, the spritely young boy band have come of age and boy, can they still pack a stadium.
I have always fancied old men. And was saddened to see that recently my first crush, Peter Faulks had popped his clogs, when other girls at school where dreaming of Brad Pitt (although now in his mid 40’s, you catching my drift girls) I was in front of the TV lusting after a glass eye and brown raincoat. Michael Heseltine (it was the hair) Clive James (the wit) and Al Pachino (explanation not needed). You could say I have never been age prejudice unless of course you were a good-looking guy in your 20’s. I dare say I’m every psychologists dream (especially those recently divorced and over 55), I have ‘father being too distant issues’, ‘mother being to submissive issues’, ‘great uncle dressing up as father Christmas issues’. None of the above I’m afraid, I just like my toys a little bit pre-loved, after all why have Strongbow when you can have Chateaux Neuf de Pape.
My addiction for the geriatric genre probably started seriously when I met Alex at 27, he was 59 and despite some initial trepidation, we dated and I realized, after a number of years not having lived out my age preferences to their full potential, and dating men whose idea of chivalry was going Dutch at Nando’s and a WKD in the Wetherspoons next door that actually this was my buzz, Colombo had realized himself in the form of a Iranian old age pensioner living in St Johns wood. Alex proved a refreshing, and so it seems, addictive change. He introduced me to an adult world of depth and passion, we would sit for hours in his beautiful flat, without the distraction of week old dirty plates in the sink and stoned flat mates rolling in at 4am. We would drink Chablis in front of the fire, discussing life, politics, art and culture, he had opinions, experience and history. He was to boys my own age, what Sheeky’s is to Harvester, Mont Blanc to Biro and I couldn’t get enough of him. Sex too can be great with the oldies, after all they’ve done enough shagging in their lives to know how to slow it down, please a woman and locate correct buttons at correct times, and contrary to popular belief that men loose their mojo as soon as they hit 30, I’ve found that the older the guy the saucier the sex life, if you’ve never been called a naughty girl while you pour out of your beautiful new coral pink Myla underwear set, by a hot confident older men I’d recommend you try it.
Of course it’s a wild generalization to suggest all men over a certain age are cultured and sophisticated and all men under 30 live of kebabs and talk about Wayne Rooney’s dribbling technique for 8 hours a day, but from my experience be it a better listener, a more experienced lover, a worldlier head or just simply a damn sexier face, Older men come out on top. I mean who’s seen anything sexier than Scarlett Johnsons foot under the table in the crotch of the smouldering Sean Penn 20 years her senior, what I’d do to be a fly on the wall 4 hours after that photo was taken. Ditto find me a couple that sit better together than the royals of Hollywood’s themselves Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, so 6 months ago he was 10 minutes away from the pearly gates and she’s gone a bit bonkers, but hell they were on fire at the Tony awards, mixed age relationship-ing at it’s very best.
I can’t deny that there are disadvantages. With age often comes baggage, being labelled as the new brainless arm candy by the green eyes ex wife (despite having a degree and your own business), meeting you’re boyfriends kids who turn out to be older than yourself, or the age old deterrent of seeing them meet the big man 20 years before you get your wings are all obvious potential stumbling blocks. However in an age, and at an age (after all us gals aren’t getting any younger either, thank god for fillers) when people have a past, skeletons, history and baggage one thing can be said for those well travelled , gorgeously cared for old wrinklies, it’ll be Louis Vuitton not JD sports it’s packed in and all hail to that.