katyUncategorized1 Comment

I think we should all calm down about Kate Middleton. Every time I open a magazine these days there’s a double spread on her clothes/hair/teeth/hat/shoes. There’s no denying she’s a jammy cow for landing the plumiest job in the country but really, does a skinny Sloane really warrant such adoration? She also has no top lips but that’s not really her fault.

I suppose we only have ourselves to blame, us brits do love a national sweetheart, and now that Jordan’s a washed up rubber duck and Cheryl’s decided to be a good little wifey again and save the big gigs for the grow ups we need to find someone to fill our weekly’s with. She’s thin, can wear a Reiss Frock to perfection, doesn’t over accessories and has never been heard talking, having an opinion or telling a joke, perfect. Who better to represent our country? She’s Diana with longer hair and a better looking brother (although that’s debatable, I’ve always had a bit of a thing for the Earl) I’m sure I am being grossly slanderous but it is my bet she was chosen practically from birth, the Old Windsor’s aren’t going to balls up another generation of royals, I dare say they have checked over her reproduction organs thoroughly and she will be giving birth at 23 hundred hours somewhere around mid November next year, just enough time after to let the Olympic hysteria settle and give the ever grateful tax payer something else to look forward to, who knows, if we are really good we might even get another day off (collective squeal of excitement) who needs bins emptied, sure start centres, hospital beds and classes of less than 40, the Duchess of Cambridge is having a boy, we’re blessed we’re blessed!

Call me an old cynic but I can’t help but smell a rat in the royal making, she’s a posh Barbie doll, delightful to look at and a handy distraction to the fact the modern world as we know it is on it’s knees .Give me Fergie any day of the week, a gobby ginger with bad taste in patterned leggings, she was a wild card and a right royal cock up, but who would you rather share a bottle of Pinot with? At least she didn’t fit the mould; she was the Chelsea chavy of her time and bagged the hottest brother of the bunch.

Kate is just a little too contrived for my tastes, if she were a shoe she’d be a nude LK Bennett court. Perfectly neutral, elegant yet accessible and can be worn at every social event ( as proved on her recent tour of the States) The nude court is high enough to be a little bit sexy but tame enough to not threaten the pump wearers of the world. It is a classic, re-run every year, tweaked slightly perhaps to fit that seasons trend, a slightly wider heel, a 5 mm platform or gasp, Mary Jane strap for A/W 13.

The job has been executed to perfection; we have our new court duchess at a time when we all need to believe in princesses and affordable footwear. Personally id choose a pair of strappy manolo blahnik’s any day of the week, but then what do I know, Fergie would have more likely been a pair of purple fur lined Versace thigh highs and look where that got us.


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