So, Lord Sewel, another House of Lords peer, has been caught with his trousers down.
And I love it. Love that he was caught or that he was snorting coke with two hookers (£200 an hour – cringe, talk about bonking on a budget), no, I love the reaction from the British public.
The shock! The Horror! The disbelief!
How many times has this happened – Lord Hanningfield, Lord Taylor, Lord Archer, Baroness Uddin and Lord Paul, to name but a few. All caught out fiddling or fucking – and yet still people act surprised when it happens.
In the case of Lord Sewel, he has been filmed by two hookers, snorting coke and slagging off his fellow peers. He casually discusses what a sham parliament is – not least of all the Labour party, what a twat Boris Johnson is, a ‘romantic idiot’ Jeremy Corbyn is and what a ‘superficial’ leader David Cameron is proving to be.
In-between snorting lines of coke off one of the girls tits and wearing the bra of the other.
He is, of course, married, with four children and a ‘respectable’ member of the House of Lords.
Needless to say, the media, the public and every conceivable social media avenue is up in arms about the immorality of his dalliance and the fact that, we, the general public, are paying for his coke fuelled orgies. It’s outrageous!!
Ok, I get it. I understand that, for a person working all the hours God sends, to then give half their earnings back to the government in taxes, the news of a member of the House of Lords using the money to pay two brasses for a blow job and a couple of tit wanks is going to be frustrating.
But aren’t we missing the point? Why weren’t we angry before now? Because, regardless of whether public money goes on hookers, wine or rent – the original point of the pay out, the randy old sod still gets it.
He’s a Lord! We live in England! The system is out-dated and unfair!
But it is what it is, and it should either bother you full-time, or not at all.
I couldn’t care less that Sewel chooses to spend is cash on blow jobs and coke – or am I missing the point? Is it wrong because he should be an upstanding citizen with a better moral compass?
Do me a favour, he’s a man, and men, be them a Lord or a dustman, will always want a bit of naughty now and again. There will always be drugs and affairs and pay per hour prostitutes who’ll record you selling your mates out to the highest bidder – in this case The Sun on Sunday.
Lusting, lying, shagging and bitching are as old as time – stop being so shocked by it.
If you want to be outraged by anything, be it that we still have a system where your taxes go towards paying posh old blokes to quaff Chateauneuf du pape at mid-day on a Monday – but make your outrage consistent, not just because one of the randy buggers has been caught with his trousers down.
Or that (my own personal favourite) he, a man on £120k a year, started bitching about one of the girls having nicking a tenner off him last time he paid them £200 for sex. He noticed the note, previously used to snort coke, was missing, because it was the one he’d intended to buy his breakfast with.
I mean you literally couldn’t make it up, Alan Partridge couldn’t have said it better himself, and if there’s anything that demonstrates how completely out of touch the members of the House of Lords are with the rest of society, it is this.
Clearly a tight bastard if there ever was one – far more offensive than the fact he was a married man paying two prostitutes for a coke-fulled sex session.
There is a positive to end on however – If you’re grateful for anything in your life, it should be that you are not Lord Sewel waking up this morning.
If Carlsberg made come-downs.