I’m thrilled to welcome Samantha Evans to my blog, sexpert and co-owner of the awesome online sex toy retailer Jo Divine and I couldn’t agree more with what she has to say about sex and female ‘empowerment’ (groan!)
Sick of the navel gazing and everything being a gender issue? You are not alone …
I hate the word, empowerment.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary to empower is to “give someone the authority or power to do something”, or “to make someone stronger or more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights”.
This word is constantly used, especially when talking about the female sex. Why is there such a need to empower women all the time? This word is very rarely used when talking about men who presumably are born empowered unlike women who have to learn to be empowered!!
More frequently it is used when related to sexual relationships between men and women-for goodness sake, why?
This generation have the most information available to them, yet the least knowledge when it comes to sex about what they want or even how to get it. If I read yet another how to get your man, steam-clean your vagina or top 10 sex tips again, I’ll scream.
I write about sex nearly every day, offering practical advice, and information on how to enjoy sex more, whoever you are and however you enjoy sexual pleasure.
I offer practical advice to women about experiencing sexual pleasure, especially if they have sexual health problems. I don’t think that I empower them but help them to find ways in which to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure.
I’ve written about how I’m having better sex in my late 40’s than I did in my 20’s, oooh, have I become empowered about sex?
NO, I’ve just found ways in which to experience fantastic sex with my husband through communicating what we both like, note, I said what we both like and not just what I like.
Sex makes me feel powerful , not empowered, especially when I take control. It makes me feel happy, healthy and sexy.
Too often the word is used as a smokescreen for increasing spending, encouraging women to spend money on themselves because “you’re worth it” to coin that well known phrase, rather than needing to buy shampoo or hairspray because you need to wash or style your hair!
So many articles about sex seem fixated on “normal sex”, leading to people thinking they’re abnormal if they aren’t having sex hourly and steaming your vagina is considered unsafe and unhygienic by healthcare professionals.
Women’s groups that offer advice to empower women to enjoy sex often exclude men, when men need educating about sex too. Websites, like “How to make me come” are great as it allows a platform to divulge what feels good for women when it comes to orgasms.
Sadly, young women are turning to the internet to find out about sexual health issues rather than going to their GP and reading often confusing, conflicting advice, leading to them being even more confused.
Magazines and websites aren’t “ empowering” women by printing this stuff, we could all learn so much if informative, correctly sourced articles, offering practical advice and tips about sex were printed.
So, that’s my rant, I’m not empowered- I just like sex!
Samantha Evans is co-founder of Jo Divine, an online sex toy company with her husband. She is a mother of three children, two of whom are teenagers. Having a professional background in nursing, Samantha is also a features writer for Jo Divine and other publications.
Having an extensive knowledge about sex toys, Samantha is a sexpert and enjoys creating informative articles about sexual health and pleasure. She also writes regular features for several leading websites, such as, So Feminine, Female First and Net Doctor. Her articles have also been featured in national newspapers.
Samantha is always looking at ways in which both men and women can take control of their sexual health to increase their sexual pleasure as well as benefiting their sexual health and well being. Whatever your age, sex, medical condition or disability, she believes that it is always possible to find ways in which to continue enjoying sex, it just requires being more imaginative and adventurous.
Working with a consultant uro/gynaecologist and a women’s health physiotherapist at Tunbridge Wells Hospital, Samantha has created a health brochure containing suitable products for their patients with gynaecological conditions, such as vaginal tightness, post operative scarring and menopausal symptoms to help alleviate some of the symptoms.