Why The ‘Barbie Selfie’ Sums Up Everything That’s Wrong With Beauty Aspirations Today.

katycelebrities, self-esteem, selfies1 Comment


Holly Hagan – looking like a blow-up doll

According to Closer magazine today,  there is such a thing as a ‘Barbie selfie’ and it is something which is increasingly popular amongst celebrities.

Selfies themselves are gross. The fact that people see it as normal behaviour to spend their day/holiday/life snapping away at themselves in order that friends (normal people) and fans (not normal people) ‘like’, praise and brown-nose them is depressing and weird.

People massaging the egos of arseholes like Lauren Goodger and Kim Kardashian, reminding them how *amazing* they look is quite beyond my realms of comprehension.

There are three main reasons for this.

a) You’re a complete cunt for taking a selfie in the first place. (see above)

b) You don’t look like Barbie, you look like somebody who’s pumped full of lip fillers and botox. Meaning that, at twenty-one you look ‘good for thirty-five’ and at thirty-five you look like a flesh- coloured lilo.

c) Aspiring to look like a plastic doll, means you are mis-guided, insecure and I dare say, slightly unhinged.


PIA MIA – looking like a freak


And there-in lies the real irony. Who really wants to fuck a Barbie doll? For all her exaggerated proportions, big baby-doll eyes, pinched nose and made-for-knob-sucking lips, Barbie dolls aren’t sexy. They are children’s dolls, lifeless, soulless and totally void of sex appeal.

Human versions (by which I mean, women who strive to be ‘perfect’, as opposed to women who look exactly like the iconic piece of plastic) equally so.

Because for all the face tuning, ‘sultry’ stares and pouting lips, perfection is not sexy – man-made or otherwise.

Character makes a face sexy, and you can’t have character without imperfections. A slightly wonky nose, a too-big smile or slightly off-centre teeth, it’s being individual that will have you remembered as a beauty, not replicating society’s one-size-fits-all idea of beauty.


Kim Kardashian looking like a cunt

Look at the iconic sex bombs of our time. Kate Moss with her imperfect teeth, Cara Delevingne with ‘those’ eyebrows, Debbie Harry – still beyond hot at *seventy* years old – not perfect yet in a league of their own when it comes to being sexy.
Sure, there’s probably a nip and a tuck amongst them, but nothing that steals them of their character and sex appeal, because they ‘own’ it. Shunning what they should have and embracing what they have. Of course they are all natural beauties but it’s not their beauty, as such, which makes them iconic, it’s the big eyebrows and the wonky teeth in combination with that beauty.

Being sexy is about being an individual. Celebrating your imperfections – being a person who is memorable not a mannequin or a copy-and-paste face that becomes white noise on a screen.

Barbie selfies are the perfect example of whats wrong with society’s idea of beauty today. With airbrushing, facetuning, correcting and perfecting – instagraming the fuck out of yourself, in a room, on your own, in exchange for ‘likes’.

If you aspire to be ‘perfect’ – make it on your own terms and remember that there’s a type of man who wants to fuck a Barbie doll.

That is all.




katyWhy The ‘Barbie Selfie’ Sums Up Everything That’s Wrong With Beauty Aspirations Today.

One Comment on ““Why The ‘Barbie Selfie’ Sums Up Everything That’s Wrong With Beauty Aspirations Today.”

  1. Macca

    When did the “hit in the mouth with a cricket bat and take a selfie thing” suddenly became de rigour. Who the fuck voted for that shit??

    Here’s some old fashioned bloke views: (I’m old, crabby and a bloke but bear with me)

    Totally agree with you Katy. All the photos of the women in the article just look weird and strange
    Barbie selfies are narcissistic bollocks and plasticity is vile
    Most men agree. If they don’t – they’re not men. Real men love real women – not an ideal form of media promoted “beauty”
    Men love idiosyncrasies – same as women do. Perfection is unattainable – and unknowable – beauty really is in the eye of the beholder
    It’s really sad that a Barbie look is even thought of as attractive – cos it really isn’t. And most men don’t want to fuck a Barbie doll

    Nice one Katy – thanks

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