There has been much in the media about same sex marriage recently. All host of celebrities are coming out to declare it right and proper that it be legalised and that all people made equal. I have warmed significantly to Charlize Theron, a South African actress, who recently said that forbidding one group in society from something is no better than separate drinking fountains for different races during the Apartheid.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
For fear of missing the bandwagon I felt it only right that I offer up my thoughts on the subject, of which, you will be pleased to hear, there aren’t many. You see, when it comes to marriage I reach rather a stale mate. It’s an old and rather odd institution which, from my experience of watching others, seems to do little to enrich your life. Unless, of course, your plan for the future is to avoid tax and completely destroy your sex life, in which case, vow away.
I’m not anti the institution per se, hell no. I’d marry any old fool if I thought i’d get a decent payout at the end of it all, I mean, if I thought I was in love. And, of course, I want a Jenny Packham dress and mini beef and horseradish Yorkshire pudding vol e vent as much as the next person, I just can’t understand everyone’s obsession with it.
Take Katie Price. ( No please, take Katie Price, have you seen those hair extensions recently) On her third marriage and, by her own admission, is expecting to have about 12 under her belt by the time she’s finished. Wtf? Planning her divorce at her engagement party? Mind you, she’s realistic if nothing else. Thank God for pre-nups.
My mother has a lot in common with Ms Price. She has also recently had a tattoo of a pink garter on her left thigh. I jest, of course, mercifully she is without body art and hair extensions, but, in keeping with the craze de jour, she is on her 4th marriage. Her penchant for multiple partners in her life has never confused me but her insistence on marrying half of them has. I can only imagine that her over indulgence has caused my abstinence, and for that, I thank her.
It genuinely confuses me. For such a developed and free thinking society that we apparently are, people seem amazingly set on having the government/the church/society (damned if I know who does the deal) tying them together with a piece of paper for all and eternity.
And like it wasn’t bad enough that every man and his wife want to ruin their life with a gold band, now every man and his husband wants to do it to.
The only benefit from the idea of yet more people wanting to sign on the dotted line is that, from my experience, same sex love unions are far more fun. No kids, good booze, great tunes and a definite encouragement of inappropriate behaviour. My vote for same sex marriage to be legalised has less to do with equal rights and more to do with the fact that I like Cristal Champagne. My God, I’d attend the marriage of a farmer to his Shetland pony if I though there would be decent grog there. But my unhealthy dependency on alcohol aside, I’m just not sure a piece of paper to validate love is an especially enriching thing for anyone.
Here’s a thought, let’s all be equal, let’s none of us get married.
Let’s all go to Heaven, drink Jager bombs and dance on the table to a Spice Girls tribute band instead. Now that would get my vote.