This weekend, former Spice Girls member Geri Halliwell married Formula one boss Christian Horner .
Some are happy that ‘unlucky in love’ Geri, has finally found her fairytale ending – others, not so much. There is a back story to the nuptials which has cause controversy amongst the press, namely that, when the couple met, Horner was married to Beverly Allen, his partner of 14 years and who had just given birth to his daughter.
According to a friend, Geri had been ‘after him for years’ and, inevitably, ever since, has been portrayed as the femme fatale who ‘stole’ him away from his family.
His parents didn’t attend the wedding, showing loyalty to his ex and only one former Spice Girl was there, suggesting that perhaps it wasn’t just the press who disagreed with the way in which the relationship started.
Now, make no mistake, I have every sympathy for his ex-wife and can only imagine how painful this weeks copy of Hello! magazine must have been for her (Really Geri, you needed to do that?) But what is all this ‘man stealing’ stuff about??
Why does the blame over an affair, always seem to fall at the other woman’s feet? Is it because women are expected to have a higher moral code than men, that men can’t help themselves and only think with their dick or born out of some sort of ‘sisterhood’ nonsense? Maybe it’s because, when you blame the mistress, there is always a chance of winning the man back, it softens the blow of forgiveness and makes it easy to see it as just a big mistake? Or is it that the truth is too painful to admit – that he wasn’t taken from you, he chose to leave?
Because isn’t that the bottom line?
If you’ve been cheated on, your husband’s mistress hasn’t lured him away, she hasn’t stalked him until he could resist the temptation no more, or demanded his affections and stolen him from under your eyes. You want to have someone to blame and vent your fury at, I get it, but people don’t steal people, they aren’t penny sweets from a corner shop, they are human beings who recognise responsibilities and make choices.
A man who leaves his wife for another women or has an affair, has chosen to pursue her and, as painful as it is to admit, has chosen to leave you.
It takes two to tango and, even if the other women did present your partner with an opportunity, he was the one that chose to take it.
Geri Halliwell’s only crime was falling in love with a man who was already in a relationship, and my guess is, with or without her help it would have ended sooner or later – he wanted to jump ship, she just gave him the life jacket to do it with.