I’m really excited to welcome Adam Walker to my blog, founder of the fantastic The Male Stylist blog – a go to place for all things fashion and style related for men. Adam starts our week off with a great list of dating tips for men, from what to wear to where to go to ensure you get the very best from your date. Boys – pay attention, this savvy advice may well come in handy …
7 Tips for Men on Dating
Before i get started, i want to make this clear. This isn’t a guide that will guarantee your date is successful or that you can somehow trick your date into going home with you. It’s a guide to help give yourself the best chance of feeling confident, looking good and ultimately providing a dating experience that you and your date will enjoy. If you’re looking for simple tips to easily get a one-night stand, you’ve come to the wrong place.
1) Personal Grooming is A Must
This is an easy one for men to trip up on, but it’s vital you tackle it as a priority. Making sure your face and hair look their best is a great way of making a good impression. Not only do you look cleaner, sharper and more sophisticated but you also show that you’re willing to make an effort to look that way for your date. So, before a date make sure you’ve shaved/your beard is trimmed, wash and style your hair and generally make sure you don’t look like you’ve stumbled out of the office or bed. A really good way to wake up your skin after a long day in the office is to splash cold water on it and then pat it with your hands until dry, it tightens the skin and washes off the day’s oils and impurities.
2) Be Careful with Cologne
I’ve heard this a lot from female & male friends when they’ve discussed bad dates with men. Overdoing cologne is a real mood-killer. You’re basically making sure that your date can’t breathe and, ultimately, ensuring they don’t come close to you through fear of further suffocation.
Your cologne should be a subtle hint of a fragrance that entices your date, rather than pushes them away. I have a 4-point rule to making sure you apply your cologne correctly:
1 spray at the top of the neck behind each ear, this means if your date leans in to you more closely, they get a slight hint of the scent.
1 spray on the chest area at the centre of your rib cage, this will slowly rise up as it vaporizes and create a subtle fragrance around your neck and torso.
1 spray on one wrist and then rub both together. Lots of blood flows through these areas and so they radiate heat, allowing for a slow release of your fragrance.
3) Dress for a Date
Certain standards are expected these days and generally they go beyond an office shirt and a pair of jeans. You should make an effort, not just for your date, but for your own self-confidence. Swap the jeans for a pair of dark-coloured chinos, combine your shirt with a blazer and you have an outfit that is far more elegant and suave then you first started with. Make sure what you wear shows off you and your style, rather than makes you blend in with the rest of the crowd. Your date will appreciate it and you’ll find yourself more comfortable in your own skin.
4) Don’t Forget Footwear
Shoes are way more important than you might imagine, it’s a real shame when a man has a great outfit and then throws on a pair of converse or knackered old black shoes. Make sure you have a pair that are smart and sharp, i always recommend a good pair of Chelsea boots as they are hard-wearing, look great and can easily be paired with a lot of outfits. Don’t be lazy, attention to detail shows respect and a genuine desire to make an effort.
5) Pick a Venue That You Will Both Enjoy
I have a few rules about choosing a venue for a first date:
Don’t go to the cinema, you’re not 14 and you can’t hold a conversation. You’re basically sitting, in the darkness, in silence. It’s as creepy as it sounds.
Go for a wine bar/cocktail bar instead of a pub. It doesn’t have to be expensive or high-end, it’s just a little more special than “a pint at the local”.
If you go to a restaurant make sure it’s a decent place that has a bit of chatter going on. Too low-end and you seem lazy or cheap, too high-end and it looks like you’re showing off.
Should drinking not be your thing then a high-quality cafe or bistro can have great ambience and be intimate enough for you to get to know each other.
6) Complement Your Date
When you first meet up with your date make sure to complement them and genuinely mean what you say. Don’t go overboard, but a simple “you look stunning.” when you first meet up with them shows that you’ve recognised your date has made an effort and that you appreciate it.
Please, please, PLEASE don’t be a “lad” and complement your date in some chauvinistic way (i.e. “your bum looks great in that” or “that dress makes your tits look huge”). It’s disrespectful, often rude and gives the rest of us a bad name. Be respectful and nice about the way they look, you would want them to be the same to you right?
A struggle for men is that they feel they need to force conversation, they over think topics, mumble or just ask ridiculous questions. There is no great secret to it, just listen to what your date is talking about and be interested. Don’t pretend to listen, or spend the time they’re talking checking them out. Don’t wait and then decide to tell your own story. Engage with them. Be interested in what they have to say and ask them about things that you want to know more about. Anyone can talk about themselves, but talking about your date shows you want to learn more about them and ultimately like their conversation.
If they feel the same way you’ll be doing just as much talking as them so be patient and listen more than you speak. You’ll find conversation flows naturally and the night will be a much more enjoyable.
Well that wraps up my advice on making a date a more confident and enjoyable experience for the two of you. Best of luck out there gentlemen. Like i said, this doesn’t guarantee success, but it does go a long way to improving your chances for a second date…
Check out Adam’s blog - themalestylist.com
Follow him on twitter – @MaleStylist