It’s with devious excitement that I welcome David Jones, from RevealPi, the private investigators and detective agency (yes, they really do exist!) here to give us some insider tips on how to catch your cheating husband.
And the signs aren’t always the things you’d expect. From sudden extended gym sessions to being snappy and aggressive – here are his 10 most common signs your partner is doing the dirty! …
1. The Phone
We all deserve some privacy so not sharing passwords is definitely not something to be concerned about, from our experience we find that the people who are genuinely trying to hide who they are communicating with tend to become very defensive over their phone so they will make excuses like I’m listening to music in the shower’ in order to take their phone to the bathroom.
If you partner is making excuses to use the phone in private – the chances are they’re using it for more than a touch of banter.
2. Gym visits
Healthy living is becoming more and more popular so taking up a gym routine isn’t abnormal and it can be caused by hundreds of factors, not just trying to impress other women.
The reason for returning to the gym could genuinely be to put some more effort into their physical appearance, and is a great way to improve self-esteem and build confidence, however it can be sometimes used as an excuse. Look for simple things like a gym kit, does he seem sweaty or has he got a sweaty gym kit in a bag?
On average a gym session will last between 1-2 hours so he is consistently spending 3-4 hours in the gym you may want to consider speaking to a private investigator. (Remember changes don’t happen overnight so don’t assume he is cheating because he has been to the gym for 2 weeks and doesn’t have a six-pack yet.)
It may be by choice that he has taken on an increased amount of overtime or it may be compulsory, in either situation you need to remember that all companies have busy periods and deadlines to meet and it’s not always optional.
Using your head can get you a long way when it coms to overtime, if your husband is a project manager then its very likely he will at times have an increased workload and won’t have any other choice than to take up overtime, if he is a lifeguard at a leisure center there is probably limited times that he could be required to work even if it was busier than usual. However it can also be a handy excuse for something a little less professional!
4. Friend of a friend
So after a stag do 3 months ago your husband became friends with one of the stag’s mates, he doesn’t live nearby, they don’t work together and you don’t have any mutual friends so when he says he is going out with them on Friday night you know you’re going to have to take it as gospel.
The “friend of a friend” is often a very easy excuse because he knows that you can’t cross examine his friends, you can’t ask too many questions because you don’t know them and most of all you can’t try and catch them out at the Christmas party by asking how that night out on the 4th of august was when he was with your husband.
5. Working away
This is probably the most cliché of all the tell-tale signs we hear, millions of people travel up and down the country for a variety of work related reasons, some attending meetings and others have skills that require them to be on-location. However, our investigations have seen people using the working away excuse to drive 15 minutes down the road and stay at another woman’s house only to find out the man had children with other women and was essentially living a ‘double life’ with two women less than 10 miles apart.
Signs to look out for are things like packing a favourite shirt when he’s supposed to be plastering or insisting they will do their own washing when they return.
6. Doesn’t pay you attention anymore
This is probably the most subjective and unreliable sign that a man is cheating, the actual reason behind this could be one of a million things. However, if this is being exhibited along side other tell-tale signs then you should consider something might be amiss.
7. Lack of sexual appetite
If your husband has always had a low sex drive then you would be irrational to think that this is down to him getting his thrills elsewhere, even seeing a drastic reduction could be put down to a number of attributes. And, of all the accusations we hear, this one has probably been the least successful indicator that you have a cheating husband.
ut, again, combined with other factors – it can indicate infidelity.
The easiest way to defend against accusations is to react with counter-accusations, so it’s very common for somebody who is cheating to become aggressive when accused of something.
The other common response is “your just paranoid or your losing the plot, stop looking for things that aren’t there”.
This aggression isn’t necessarily displaying how angry they are but more as a distraction tactic to stop you from probing.
9. Zero detail about nights out or activities
When men start to cheat they can often feel pressure when talking about the cover story or the time that it happened so, naturally, they avoid talking about it.
If they don’t want to give details or they seem reluctant to talk about it that could be an indicator that their story won’t match up with the one you have been told.
10. When away, they are unreachable after a certain time
If your husband works away frequently and consistently has an excuse why he is unreachable after a certain time we would seriously consider looking for help.
After years of experience working with investigations of this nature we can confidently say this is the signal we take the most seriously.
Some hotels may have poor reception and we all forget our chargers from time to time but if husband always has an excuse for why he cannot be contacted after a certain time it is probably because he is doing something he doesn’t want you knowing about.
Some provide elaborate excuses every time and others try to use the excuse that they need to get to bed at 7PM because they have an early start. This excuse is usually accompanied by what we call the ‘check-in’, this is the phone call you receive early evening where they explain the reason you shouldn’t phone them for the rest of the evening.
Ultimately – Trust your gut.
Using the services of a private investigator is much more common than you would think so don’t feel as though calling to speak about your partner is going to make you look insane.
You are not obliged to give your personal details and most companies are happy to offer free consultation.
RevealPi specialize in investigating the behavior of unfaithful or cheating partners. They are a group of private investigators and detectives with over 20 years of industry experience.
Check out their website here
or follow them here …
After all, you never know when you might need them!