Coming of Age.

katyamyl nitrate, ex-boyfriends, virgins18 Comments

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While having a clear out a few days ago, I stumbled across some old diaries. Very rarely do words fail me, but yep, words fail me. In 1992 I was 15 and discovering the joys of sex, Nintendo and amyl nitrate. Oh that life were that simple now, what more could a girl want …?
5th August 1992.
I went to Jason’s at about 2.30, put my bike next to the fire station and went in. His mum answered the door and I went upstairs and played Nintendo. Jason said he was bored so we went for a walk in the graveyard and got off with each other LOADS. He tried to finger me but I had my tights on (stripy from Lowestoft) and jeans (white) so he couldn’t. We came back and just lay on his bed and played Nintendo but got a bit bored so went back to Southwold. Everyone was at the pier when I went back and Emma told me that Lisa shagged Simon.
7th August.
Was at Jason’s all afternoon, it was pouring with rain and when I got there I was really wet, I went upstairs and Jason wasn’t in his room. I waited a bit then he came in and we played Nintendo and lay on his bed. When he came back he showed me the tattoo he just got of magic mushrooms on his arm (3 mushrooms with stars and swirls around it) we messed around a bit and he was sucking my tits loads, he gave me a love bite and told me he wants to have sex with me. I went home about 6 and met up with Kate, Emma and Sharon we went for a drive in Mark’s car (horny).
8th August
Today I got up quite early to do some geography coursework, I went to Jason’s at lunchtime, his mum answered the door, I went upstairs and Jason was playing Nintendo on his bed, all day we were lying on his bed and talking about sex. I’m going to say I’m staying around Sharon’s and then we’re going to do it (music Nirvana and Bob Marley), I can’t wait. He kept telling me how horny I was, he’s so horny. Gary came round at 6 and we did some amyl nitrate, smoked (B&H) and listened to Reggae it was so cool. I then did a hot knife, had a spliff and listened to the Fantasia tape, next time he goes I’m going to go and stay I’m staying at Sharon’s.
A)   What the hell is a hot knife?!
B)   What is more worrying, the fact that, at 15, I have mentioned ‘hot knives’, amyl nitrate and smoking a spliff in one paragraph or that I thought listening to Reggae (there were no Rastafari present at the time) was cool and acceptable? 
13th August
We tried to have sex today!!!. I was sitting in the car with Dave, Jason and Rachel, Rachel said Jason’s got something to tell you, and then he said ‘I want to shag you’ so we went on the beach but it was too cold so we went in the loo’s by the side of the pier, we were kissing LOADS but it was really cold and he couldn’t get a hard on so he just fingered me loads and told everyone we did it anyway, he said it doesn’t make any difference anyway as we’d been together all summer and were going to anyway. I’m going to tell mummy I’m staying at Sharon’s tomorrow and go to his house, I can’t wait to do it I know it’s going to be AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14th August
I went to Jason’s in the evening and went into the kitchen (10 mines late) his mum answered the door and Jason had cooked me dinner. (Horny) It was pork chops and beans, we took it upstairs and listened to Emotion 9, we were lying together and playing Nintendo, at about 9 we got into bed, before he went to the bathroom to put on a condom (mates, coloured) and told me to take my clothes off, so I did. He came back in and I only had knickers on he was wearing his silk heart boxer shorts (the ones I gave him) he then got in bed and he got on top of me and pushed his dick in, it really hurt for about 10 seconds then it was quite nice, once it fell out so he had to put it back up. After about 10 minutes he went to get some water, I had a drink then we started again. (Sean opened the door half way through) it lasted about 20 minutes. When it ended he got out of bed and I saw his dick. I went home on his mope head and he dropped me off in Reydon and told me the condom had split. Vicky had sex with Scott too and her condom split as well.
Well that’s an anti climax if there ever was one and I am left more concerned by the ever lingering presence of ‘door opening but nay speak a word’ mother, ‘door opening and stand there gawping’ brother and incessant Nintendo playing than I am about the act itself. On top of which, since when is cooking pork chops ‘Horny’? My God I was deluded even at that age. 
mope head? clearly at 15 i prioritized getting laid over spelling, hmm … glad to see there’s a bit of consistency in my life still.
29th August.
 Jason phoned me. He’s going to Amsterdam on Thursday, and Kirsty, little slut, fancies him. He asked if id comes round to his house, I know it’s just for sex he’s not getting me back. Arsehole.
And there you have it, my friends, the story of my frigging life.

Got a virginity story to beat that? Seriously, it can’t be hard ….
katyComing of Age.

18 Comments on “Coming of Age.”

  1. Sarah

    This is so totally hysterical and so familiar!!

    I burned all my diaries a few years ago but I do remember them being full of – we smoked this, then I did my geography coursework and oh god I fancy Pete/Andrew/John/Jasper/Uncle Tom Cobbley and all SO MUCH.

    My losing virginity story is rather similar although I was nearly 17. Went round to Alex’s house, we counted money from his moneypot into bags. Then we went to his room (which was in the cellar – we all lived in Germany on an army base BTW so not that weird!) and he lay down and gave me his t-shirt to wear and then we had sex. Then I rode my bike home and mum had cooked spag bol.

    So nearly as exciting as yours……and to this day said boy doesn’t know that I was a virgin.

    1. Kate

      My favourite blog post ever! It seems like just yesterday. Did we really call it shagging back in 1992? Wasn’t hot knives when we held knives in a flame then put whatever substance it was on top and inhaled the fumes through a lemonade bottle with the bottom cut off?!! So funny. Also love the stripy tights from lowestoft and magic mushrooms tattoo and ‘it fell out once and he had to put it back up’ – priceless! X

    2. Katy

      but what substance!?? surely not crack lol … and love how factual i am about it all, surprised i didn’t relay it in bullet points!

  2. Sarah

    I think we used to do hot knives with hash (resin) but I do remember thinking it was all rather squalid!!

  3. Live.Love.Laugh.Girl.

    This post is absolutely brilliant!! Quick snippet of losing my V card: It was my 17th birthday (almost lost my V card at 14 but parents walked in!), it was with a 19year-old collage assistant, we had sex on the school’s main hall stage, then went back to his for another round.

    It’s so weird because I was clearing out and found my previous diaries a couple weeks ago, been writing about losing my V card ever since(You wouldn’t believe the things I said back then *cringe*)Feel free to check out my crazy life at livelovelaughgirl.wordpress.com & follow me @x_Tammy_xx
    xoxo

  4. Ritzi Cortez

    This is AMAZING!

    I lost my virginity in the rafters of my friend’s garage. We had a mattress up there. Good lord we were such skanks!

    I adore how much nintendo you played.

    RCx

    1. Katy

      It was his Nintendo and i remember hating it! just did it to be cool haha I would like to say the teenage fumbling was more fun but sadly not sure it was!

  5. ihavemostlybeen

    Hilarious. And yet horribly tragic. In 1992 when you were losing your virginity I was married & giving birth to my daughter. I am so frigging old. I lost my virginity at 16 + 1 day, we were really good and waited! It was 1982. His name was Nigel. Oh god my first shag was a Nigel. (We called it shagging back then too btw) It was on my Mum & Dad’s sofa. In return he gave me 2 tortoises. The best bit of this story is in 1989 when my mum is showing the tortoises to my future husband and I blurt out that they were from Nigel in return for sexual favours. Mum’s face was a picture!!

    1. Katy

      That is the most random swap ever! love it, at least we got something out of it, all I got was a lift home on the ‘mope head’ !

  6. TheOtherSideofCool

    This is so funny, I think reading it as your 15 yr old self is definitely funnier than if you wrote about the experience now. I love how who opened the door made it into the diary. I love how everything is ‘horny’. And I forgot how much I hate the word ‘fingering’ haha! xxx

    1. Katy

      I know, i can’t imagine why i felt it was so important to record the door opening details?! you really couldn’t make up the stuff from a 15 year old’s diary, same as adults can’t draw like children and make it look genuine, so too the language of a teenager is just in a league of its own!

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