Now that the summer is officially over, or at least the devil-may-care balmy nights of August are, I’ve made a conscious effort to go on more dates.
I say this every year, and, inevitably, the nights draw in, the box sets come out and, on the occasions I can be arsed to go out, a night out with mates appeals as a far more than a cheap glass of wine in a pub near Euston station with a bloke who looks nothing like his profile picture, but hey ho, let’s start with the best intentions.
Naturally, the first stop, these days, for anyone looking for a bit of company from the opposite sex is Tinder. I go through stages of loving and hating Tinder in equal measure. Sometimes I enjoy scrolling the selection of men available, other times gouging out my own with a rusty fork seems like a preferable option.
My particular bugbear with Tinder however, is not the lack of talent, though, God knows, some days it gives a series of The Undatables a run for its money, but the non-starter aspect of it.
Non-starter in that, most people I know who use the app, myself included, find themselves matching with many, meeting with few.
I get that it would be unrealistic to meet up with everyone you conversed with however, there are certain ways of getting yourself almost to the point of a date and certain ways of most definitely not.
Decent enough chap, who claims to be single.
But he confused me last night.
After a bit of banter he felt it was necessary to tell me how he ‘was just looking for something casual to be honest’. Fair enough, nothing wrong with a cheeky bunk up to see the Autumn in.
However, he then went on to highlight how he ‘wasn’t the fall in love type’.
Now, make no mistake, had I introduced myself then declared my undying love (which I didn’t, fyi) I would have understood his need to clarity his aversion to emotional intimacy at such an early stage but, as an opening line?
Not only did this make me reluctant to meet the chap, it also convinced me there was a psychotherapist somewhere with his name written all over it.
Because, I get that people go on Tinder for casual hook ups, and there is nothing wrong with admitting to wanting a shag and nothing more, but why tie your proverbial shoelaces together at the first hurdle by basically saying you’re emotionally bankrupt and incapable of love in any form?
You couldn’t make it up.
So fellas, take a lesson from Mark, and despite fully acknowledging that Tinder can sometimes feel like the absolute areshole of the dating world, do yourself a favour and keep you emotional incapabilities to yourself in an opening sentence. Because admitting you are incapable of human emotion as a starter topic of conversation makes us either think you’re a serial fucker or that your ex-girlfriend treated you like shit, neither of which are particularly attractive.