Relationships – ah, the holy grail of modern society. Today, it would seem that, more so than ever, you’re no one until you’re a plus one.
And, whilst I recognise that finding true love is a great thing to do, when it comes to sacrificing your independence to pair up with a significant other, the promise of what’s on the other side needs to be more than someone to take the bins out and argue over box sets with.
Think that life begins when you find a relationship? Think again – 13 things only people who aren’t bothered about being in a relationship understand.
Is using a gym more than twice after signing up at the beginning of January.
A lifetime of seeing the same person every day?
2. Silence and space
… Of which there is significantly less of once your rugby playing boyfriend decides he wants to move into your studio flat.
Nothing sends the fear of God into a commitment-phobe like your very own snuggle bunny – aka your new boyfriend who has absolutely no concept of person space.
And the risk of becoming the type of woman who gets pissed off when her boyfriend forgets their ‘date we first started chatting on Tinder’ one.
5. Being ordinary
Despite there being an increasing number of people choosing to live on their own and not get married, it still feels the expected path to take for many people.
Go to uni, meet someone, move in, get married, have babies.
Meh – who’d be ordinary.
Give me a string of lovers and the freedom to walk away any day of the week.
Talking of babies, people in relationships tend to want them.
You have been warned.
What do you mean you don’t want to order a Chinese takeaway on Christmas day?
8. Hanging out with other couples
Dinner parties with other couples where the main topic of conversation is Jamie Oliver’s sugar revolution and how awful it must be to be on Tinder in your thirties – who’d have known being part of the ‘tribe’ could be such fun.
9. Doing things that people expect you to do
Your head says you should be shopping in Wholefoods, changing your Facebook status and secretly buying wedding magazines on your lunch break.
Your heart wants to be snogging a South African barman after five tequilas in a backpackers bar in Kings Cross.
Who needs that kind of dilemma in their life?
10. People analysing you
Surely you’re going to get married soon? Hasn’t he asked yet? What to you mean you’re not bothered about having kids? I’m sure you’ll change your mind, do you think he’s ‘the one’?
12. Romance themed Holidays
Valentines day, New Year’s Eve, Christmas …
All the best days of the year which were once spent pissed with mates in a leopard print mini skirt are now spent at an over-priced restaurant or talking about gravy consistency with in-laws.
Is a really fun thing to do with lots of different people.
That is all.