Yesterday I had great fun speaking to LBC radio about turn-offs – what turns people off on a date and during a relationship. I asked Twitter to give me a few turn-offs and the reaction was (worryingly) huge! Meaning that I either have a super fussy bunch of followers or that, generally, daters have higher standards and more deal-breakers than ever before.
These days communication is very tablet-based with text messages, emails and Whatsapp being used to communicate well before even a conversation. As a consequence, the first bigger turn-off people fed back with was bad spelling, lazy grammar, emoticons and the over-use of LOL’s. With people believing that if a person can’t be bothered to spell check an email, what effort are they going to put into a relationship.
Personally, I think it’s a crime of modern society that people don’t pick up the phone and call each other anymore – my biggest turn-off? 45 text messages and not one real conversation!
When it comes to an actual date, things really start to spice up and there seem to be a huge number of things that put people off.
Talking about ex’s is a big one – with a close second being your date talking about themselves too much, which would suggest it’s a bit of a minefield when it comes to conversation on a date!
Of course phones make the grade too, with people finding their date checking their phone continuously to be a deal-breaker.
Additionally, for girls, meanness is a big turn-off and for guys too much make-up puts them off a girl.
Physically it could be anything from the wrong hair style, venue or shoes to bad breath - or, when people met online, not looking like their profile picture – men tend to be shorter than they say, women, older.
When it comes to turn-offs on a date my advice is for people to meet people with an open-mind. With the mass influx of online dating sites being full of lists, preferences and requirements people tend to date with a shopping list these days – refusing to entertain anyone under 5’8 who doesn’t earn over 60k a year for example. When you create turn-offs in advance of getting to know someone, you are inevitably setting yourself up for a fall.
You can’t really question why you’re single when you have a list of 10 non-negotiable turn-offs before you’ve even left the house!
Further down the line, when people are more comfortable with each other, it’s often the more mundane, everyday things that can break a relationship. Towels on the floor, too much football or too many nights out, snoring, jealousy or a lack of direction or ambition.
However when your boyfriend not putting his T-shirt in the laundry basket is a deal breaker after two years together my guess is it’s a symptom of a deeper problem – when you like someone nothing bugs you, when you’ve gone off them, everything does.
We’ve all got our turn-offs, and it would be ridiculous to suggest people wipe the slate clean with regards to what they do and don’t look for in a partner, however there is good news – when it’s the real thing, things you though would put you off, suddenly don’t.
Chemistry conquers all – no matter how bad the shoes are.