There has been much fuss made in the media recently about certain celebrity marriage breakdowns. Rupert Murdock and Wendi Deng, Brian ferry and Amanda Sheppard, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones to name but a few. All linked by the fact that there is a significant age difference in all of these relationships. The men being notably older than their wives.
Because of this, I’ve read a number of articles concluding that ‘mixed age relationships’ will never work. That once the novelty of an older, wiser, more protective arm around you in a bigger, more exclusive restaurant has worn off, all that is left is a colostomy bag and an indefinite future of hip replacements and Antiques Roadshow repeats.
I beg to differ, having spent a significant part of my adult life dating older men I feel compelled to highlight the advantages of dating an older man.
An older man knows who he is.
The joyful thing about a man of age is that he is more than likely to have been there and done that, both professionally and personally. Meaning that, not only will he not be turning up on your doorstep with a suitcase and homeless sign pleading for a bed for the night/foreseeable future because he hasn’t found his ‘direction’ quite yet and can’t pay his rent, but personally he is also likely to have a few ex-wives and a couple of kids under his belt (not literally, here’s hoping) so is at a point where his only interest in life is fine wine, fun times, nice holidays and a relaxed, hassle free life. Should you want the same, the union of a couple with a 20 year age difference is likely to thrive.
There is, of course, the chance you may want a family of your own, in which case, may I suggest a good bottle of Whiskey and some Agent Provocateur underwear. Who needs a rational constructed discussion about the benefits of a 2nd family in later life when you have red lace and a good single malt.
An older man will get you off.
Or, at the very least, have an idea of where your clitoris is. There is, of course, no guarantee that any man will be a spectacular lover, however, the likelihood is that with age comes experience, meaning that, it is unlikely your older man will either come on your leg within 3.5 seconds with just the thought of you naked or start fingering your kneecap in the hope that your G spot is somewhere in that region. He is likely to know what he likes and give a shit about what you like too (and treat you to red lace occasionally, see above.)
He wont play games.
Or spend his life on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have a rather unhealthy relationship with social media and think it is fair to say that, these days, many people, myself included, feel compelled to share with the world every detail of their life. A friend of mine recently had a brief fling with a man (younger, ahem) who didn’t call her after sex but has been snapchatting her regularly. Which is a good thing, no? After all, who needs conversation when you can send someone a picture of your breakfast online that gets deleted after 3 seconds.
Older men, from my experience, not only have no idea how to Snapchat, Facebook, Tweet or Instagram, but will do crazy old fashioned things like pick up the phone and talk to you, or in some extreme cases, even take you out and have a real live conversation with you face to face. Crazy, prehistoric lunatics that they are.
The consequence of this is that one tends, with an older man, to not only develop a ‘real’ relationship more quickly but, because his Facebook page hasn’t been updated since 2001, you, yourself, don’t spend the majority of your waking life sitting at a computer screen stalking every individual he has ever had sexual relations with before meeting you. Everyone’s a winner.
He won’t call you Mummy.
I’ll cut to the chase. An older man dating a younger woman is unlikely to be doing so because he has deep set issues with his mother and wants to have sex with her. He won’t be needy or cry on your lap, you wont find him sucking his thumb or your nipple (unless you so suggest) in the middle of the night or expect you to ‘look after’ him. He will however treat you like a woman…. A sexy woman … who has nothing to do with his mother … or her vagina.
He knows his limits.
Fortunately, with age, men tend to slow down a bit, and a night in a nice restaurant with a few drinks following becomes preferable to dancing to electro house in a sweaty club in King’s Cross until 6am. At 36 I still see myself as at an entirely appropriate age to drink extreme amounts of Sauvignon Blanc fairly regularly, have alcohol induced blackouts and wake up with stinking hangovers on a regular basis. My boyfriend, however, I do not. I see him as at an entirely appropriate age to either share a good bottle of Sancerre with me in a central London eatery or tell me to go and enjoy my evening with my friends/excessive amounts of alcohol/extreme blackouts without passing judgement or suggesting that he joins us next time.
He won’t be obsessed with his six pack.
When a man hits middle age he tends to care less about maintaining a six pack and more about the next good bottle of Sancerre (happy to help). Thankfully this means that not only will you not have to argue with your boyfriend about who has the deeper tan and better biceps but that, you too, can relax, safe in the knowledge that you are in a relationship where enjoying life takes greater priority over being ‘ripped’.
He will have a hip replacement/be bed bound/develop alzheimer’s/die 20 years before you do.
And then the fun really begins.
I jest …. Of course.