We’ve all found ourselves in the position, at some point or another, of having a date lined up and feeling the nerves kick in before the big event, when the excitement of a first date boil over into nerves and anxiety.
That’s common. It’s normal, in fact. But that doesn’t make it go away.
With this in mind I’m excited to welcome the fab Ditch or Date? to the blog to let us know the 6 best ways to help combat those first date nerves! (and I’m glad to see a stiff G&T made in there somewhere!) …
1. Be Open Minded
A lot of nerves probably stem from the fact that the other person might not like you or that they won’t be the type of person you can get along with.
So what? You aren’t getting married; you’re meeting for a date. Be open minded to the fact that the other person is going to be thinking the same thing about you, “What if she doesn’t like me?” Relax. It’s fine.
Then, be open to the fact that this could go well even though he wears a torn leather jacket when you normally prefer Pretty Boys, or she wants to travel the world whilst you want a mortgage and kids.
It’s only a first date… you can always cut it short and leave if you’ve been open minded and still aren’t enjoying it.
2. Focus On What They Have To Say
… And your conversation will take care of itself.
Try to find out about them but only ask further questions that are directly related to what they have just said to you.
Fine, have some general ideas of what you want to talk about – just keep them positive: social life, where they grew up, their career dreams and where they live – but don’t go in there as though you are interviewing them with a pre-prepared list of questions, each one unrelated to the last.
Focusing on what they have just told you specifically should make the conversation flow. This makes it easier for both of you and will help you decide whether you want to meet up again.
3. Plan The Right Time
If dating nerves are an issue, don’t complicate things further by making it the focal point of your week. You can spend the whole Saturday together in the future, but, for now, why not meet up after work?
It will either give you something to think about during a slow day at work or, on the other hand, you might be so busy at work you don’t even fret about your date. Win-win.
4. Prepare Your Outfit
Get your outfit sorted the day before. You don’t want to have to be stressing about your favourite jeans being in the wash and having nothing to wear when you were supposed to have left the house 30 minutes ago. Go with your instinct; whatever makes you feel good will make you look good. And then you have one less thing to worry about.
5. Tell Your Friends
They’ll calm you down because they know you. They’ll also remind you to be yourself or – if they’re anything like my friends – they’ll make a joke out of the whole thing to put you at ease and give you something funny to talk about on your date.
Trust me, your friends want you to be happy, so telling them is always a good idea.
6. And, Failing All Else, Try A Little Dutch Courage
A glass of wine or a small G&T whilst you get ready can do wonders for the nerves. Alternatively, get their early and have one whilst you wait and get familiar with your surroundings. People-watching with a drink is soothing and, again, gives you something to talk about (if that’s what you’re worried about).
Just keep it to one though, around half an hour before your date, and your inhibitions will be lowered just enough to combat your nerves and return you to your normal self. And that’s what it’s all about.
Ditch or Date offer the most popular and successful speed dating events throughout the country which are held in the latest, stylish city centre venues.