Epic Online Dating Fails Men Make.

katyadvice, dating, Dating Profiles1 Comment


Unknown-22When it comes to online dating men can get it so wrong. Fast becoming the most effective way to date, and with over 9 million of us in the UK logging on and looking for love, it’s no surprise that, for as many men that get it right – there are plenty who get it wrong. 



You’re recently divorced, have 2 children who you see as much as possible – you always thought that true love was supposed to last but it just wasn’t to be. New to online dating but want to move on to another chapter, hoping to meet someone kind, sensitive and understanding who loves kids and is happy to take things slowly but is looking for something long-term eventually.

This is an online dating site not a CBT session. We want your height, location and hair colour not the back story of your lonely heart.


Having said that, not enough information … except reluctantly declaring that you’re ‘not really the kind of person to do this’ ‘if anyone asks we met in a bar’ or ‘never saw myself online dating’ is almost as bad.

Filling out an online dating profile is a ball-ache but if you can’t take half an hour to do it, what does that say about the effort you’re going to put into a relationship.

Being online *all* the time

Yuck, just yuck.

I don’t care what you’re looking for online, when it comes to online dating – nothing is more of a turn off than that guy who is online All. The. Time.

For Christ’s sake, at least pretend you’ve got a life.

Being on multiple sites

Or even worse, the man who crops up on every site you ever visit. Not only was he ‘last seen within the last 24 hours’ but he was last seen within the last 24 hours on 6 different sites.
You call it actively searching, we call it downright creepy.


images-39Winking, poking, favouriting, liking.

The lazy bastards guide to online dating.

Why bother reading a profile and actually interacting with someone when you could wink 100 woman and hope that someone’s desperate enough to return the favour. As the saying goes if you throw enough shit, some of it’s going to stick.

Sadly women, on the whole, aren’t looking for shit. We have our ex-boyfriends for that.

Copy and pasting the same message

A moderate improvement to blanket mass winking, but only slightly. You think you’re being clever and we’ll never suss you out, we realise that a three paragraph generic message isn’t personal and has been sent to one hundred and seventy six women in the last twenty-four hours.

‘I’ve read your profile and think you sound great’
‘On viewing your profile, I think we could possibly share a thing or two in common’
Definitely mean they have not read your profile and couldn’t give a shit whether you are great or have a lot in common but want to have sex with a woman – any woman, in the near future.

Keeping it brief

Hi! … Morning! … Hey you! … Wow! … Hello gorgeous!

Fuck off!

Unknown-23Or asking generic questions so boring you consider shooting yourself in the head as a reasonable alternative to online dating.

‘Hey, how are you?’

‘Tell me about yourself?’


Endless messages that amount to f**k all.

Call me old-fashioned, but I also thought that, with the intention of having a relationship with someone, to actually meet up and have a conversation would be a good starting point.

That guy who’s idea of commitment is adding you on whatsapp?

Married, ugly or a complete messer who uses online dating to boost his ego but isn’t man enough to go on an actual date

.. and a time-waster of epic proportions.

avoid at all costs.
Seriously guys, it’s not difficult. When it comes to online dating, just being within the realms of being a half decent bloke who can spare 5 minutes to read a profile, compose a reasonably well-written message, isn’t logged on 24 hours a day and will, at some point in the near future, take you out for a glass of wine without trying to fuck you before he even knows your name – is all we ask …. Too much? Sigh.


katyEpic Online Dating Fails Men Make.

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