I read an interesting piece on Buzzfeed this morning, regarding dating advice for men. Now, when it comes to online advice, anyone who has access to the internet will have it coming out of their ears, not least of all when it comes to dating.
I’m known for dishing it out myself, proudly making the mistakes so you don’t have to and passing on my unsolicited advice to those crazy enough to take what I say seriously.
It was with interest, then, that I read 8 Horrific Pieces Of Dating Advice That Should Be Ignored By All Men by The London Dater, because although I’m not a man, more often than not it is them who I am dating, and to me, much of it didn’t seem so horrific after all.
Quite the contrary, from a woman’s perspective, solid pieces of advice that you most definitely *should not* ignore.
1. Make an effort
‘Please do wash and dress well. But at this stage of the dating game, it’s unnecessary to be putting in too much effort beyond that.’
Listen up boys, when it comes to dating, effort is most definitely required. There is nothing that puts a girl off more than a man who doesn’t seem bothered about being there. Sure, you don’t need to organise a barber shop quartet to serenade your date on the London Eye on date one, but a quick splash under the arms and a clean shirt does not suitable effort make.
2. Just be yourself
‘You need to be fun, entertaining, and confident. If that’s not you, then fake it until you make it.’
I get the point here, that nobody wants to go on a date with someone who looks like they’re about to pass out with fear, but hell, life is too short to pretend to be someone you’re not. ‘faking it til you make it’ might work for a few hours but you’ll soon be found out.
So *do* be yourself, no matter how weird/shy/off the wall that is.
Be authentic and you might be surprised at how many girls will like you just the way you are.
3. Take her for a romantic meal
‘This idea hurts your chances of securing a second date as much as it hurts your wallet. It’s too formal and too high-pressure. Choose a fun activity, rather than a restaurant.’
Clearly never been to The Wolseley.
Or how about a combination of both, rock climbing and the Wolseley?
Nope, still prefer the Wolseley.
4. Play it cool
Agree, playing it cool is bad advice … to an extent.
Sure, being open and transparent shows inner confidence, however, games are a necessary evil when it comes to the early stages of dating, and human nature dictates that, when you know you’ve got something without effort, the appeal of it can diminish. So yes, sowing the seed that your interested is a good idea, however, giving yourself away too early on might not play to your advantage.
5. Treat her like a princess
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself if you disagree with something she says or does.
Disagree with me? I’d like to see you try … I jest of course, ish.
Yes, have an opinion, I’ll be fair and allow you that – but being difficult and argumentative for the sake of holding your own, will be more annoying than enticing.
Do not confuse being argumentative with being assertive and manly, they are never the same thing.
6. A gentleman pays on a first date
‘A girl might not be comfortable feeling like she’s being bought. Those who are comfortable with this may be less inclined to take a relationship to the next level.
Why would she when she’s getting all these free treats at the level you’re on?’
A tricky one this, because, whilst I’m all for going dutch in certain situations, as a woman, I can tell you that, when you invite a girl out on a first date, pulling out the old proverbial calculator is never going to be a crowd pleaser.
Even if it means you buy the first round and let her buy the second, not taking the initiative can be a real turn off.
NB: And there’s a big difference between free treats and a few drinks.
(although happy for free treats too)
7. High quality women make you wait for sex
On this we agree, horrific advice indeed!
I like to consider myself a high quality woman and can’t jump in the sack quick enough if I fancy someone. Sex early on in a relationship says nothing about a woman, it says a lot about the man who’d judge her for it though …mostly that he has the mental age of a 13-year-old.
8. Wait 24 hours after a date before texting her
We have progress – agree, agree, agree.
‘Don’t play these silly mind games. No one believes you’re too busy to send a text message that same day, so stop pretending. If you’re a cool guy, she’ll like you however quickly you text back.’
Awesome advice. Again, unless you’re thirteen, women know that you’re not too busy, so man up and get those digits dialling.
… And as for the ‘three day rule’, urgg, consider yourself blocked.
Check out The London Dater blog here
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